The Birth of Care Bear

Returning to myself has meant loving myself, being kinder to myself, more considerate, gracious, compassionate and forgiving. How am I doing the above? By checking in with myself, sitting with myself and asking myself to be completely honest with what I need, what I do not need, what needs to change. What is holding me back and what is giving me the ticket to the journey to returning to myself.

You know how everyone’s pet peeve is empty promises? I made that my pet peeve. Making promises to myself and not following through on them. I decided that I was not going to stand for that. If I do not want it done to me by others, why, then, would I do it to myself?

And I became my own care bear. I decided that I was going to be my own cheerleader, my best friend, my confidant, my big sister, my comforter and my guardian angel. My cheerleader would never speak harshly to me, so neither will I. My best friend would never judge and condemn me for my shortcomings, so neither will I. My confidant would never make me feel alone, or like I could not bare my soul to her, so neither will I. My big sister would never put me in harm’s way, she would never watch me walk into the lion’s den and neither will I. My comforter would never leave me high and dry, so neither will I.

My guardian angel would never leave me unattended to, and so neither will I.

I decided that being there for myself, being kinder to myself would take me much further than my lifetime of self-loathing, self-deprecation, and hopelessness. The thing with self-loathing and self-deprecation is you say them long enough, you start to believe it is all you can and will ever be. I did not want to be any of the negative things I kept telling myself were my fate and my inheritance.

I used to tell myself that at least if I was hopeless, and assuming the worst, the worst would not hurt as much when it eventually happened, but it still did. That small glimmer of hope is so much more powerful than we want to admit. It still hurts. So, if they were going to hurt the same or l most the same, I had nothing to lose if I believed that I deserved better from myself and from the world. What did I have to lose if I just decided to bet on myself?

And I have never turned back. I hope I never do. I hope I always demand the best of myself and the rest of the world. Because I am here, and I’ll be damned if I take part in denying myself the world. There are enough people trying to do that to me, I will not give them a hand.

That is what care bear has been to me. A gift to myself, a gift of love, of presence and of grace.

Love through selfcare.

Selfcare is much more than spending money on yourself. Selfcare is the covenant you make with yourself. It is following through on all the promises you make to yourself to do right by yourself with words and with actions. It is like a walk you will take with yourself, a walk where you will encounter hills that are difficult to climb, and you will use the words and actions to wait on yourself, to give you a push, or pull yourself to the top.

Along the way, you will have to keep stopping to check if you need a break, a glass of water, a few encouraging words, and to re-strategize. Do you need to change pace? Do you need extra help because circumstances call for it? Care bear is a medium between you and yourself, at least that is what I hope it is to you.

Journaling is a fairly new concept to me. As much as writing is second nature to me, I did not know where to start. I had to search the internet for prompts and entries that could help me check in with myself.  So, if you want to start journaling, this is the tool for you.

This first edition will have daily affirmations, quotes, a mood tracker and journal entries-One self-care activity you indulged in, one thing you are grateful for, one thing that challenged you, and one thing you want to improve on.

I chose these entries because one, gratitude is a beacon of hope. When you look back on what you do have, you remember that good things can, and will happen to you.

A challenge because when you look back days or weeks later, and you conquered this thing that challenged you, you remember that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

And if it’s still challenging you, maybe it’s your sign to change tactics.

I picked a self-improvement entry so it is a daily reminder that we are human, we are imperfect and flawed. Also, that change and healing are not a one-off. You are always changing, healing and evolving. No one person is already all they can be. Self-improvement among other things is your reminder to be humble and patient with yourself. I know that when I started my self-care journey, what helped me was an accountability buddy.

Someone I had to constantly check in with to remind me to do the work. This is why we have the website section with challenges. 

Every month, you can pick a self-care activity that you will do for the entirety of the month and you get to check it daily to encourage you that you can do it.

The self-care activity can be of your choosing or you can take part in the monthly challenges.

If you take part in the monthly challenges, you can check in daily on the site, and if you pick your own, you can check in with your journal. The personal self-care activities can be weekly or monthly, is completely up to you how you decide to use it.

The challenges will be divided into physical, emotional, psychological, mental and social. At the start of the book, you will find a selection of activities you can pick from.

I hope this journal is everything to you and more. I hope it remind you that you can always return and choose yourself.